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Wednesday, September 22, 2010

The Road to Schlumpadinkaville*??

I think this must be how it starts.  One day, you’re getting ready in the morning, carefully applying makeup, styling your hair (drying and curling), putting on high heels and cute work clothes, accessorizing, and adding a coordinating purse. . . then you become a stay at home mom. 

It starts innocently enough.  “I’m home, so I should be comfortable” (a barrage of tanks and capris ensue, quickly becoming the “uniform”), “my baby pulls my hair” (so I just keep it up, don’t even dry it anymore after showering- at least there is still showering:), “why fuss with makeup” (a quick coat of mascara is fine), and “no one’s noticing my jewelry and/or the baby just tries to eat it” (so sometimes I don’t even wear my engagement ring). Gasp!

Every day begins to look like this:

Media Cabinet Makeover 009

uniform + wet hair + clip - wedding ring

Maybe the “uniform” wouldn’t be so bad, but it’s literally the SAME PAIR of capris almost everyday (is super comfy a defense?).

But ladies, be honest, am I on the road to Schlumpadinkaville?  Is it the beginning of one of those times when, before you know it, you don’t even recognize your cute former self?  Then, in a desperate attempt to try to get you help, your family nominates you for one of those makeover shows where everyone is gasping at how you let yourself go? 

Do you SAHMs “get ready” each morning?  If so, how much time and effort do you give it?  I think getting a bit more prettied up each day could do me some good; I even made a hair appointment for this week.  I’m fascinated by this topic right now.  Would love to hear your thoughts. 

*Schlumpadinka.  n. Urban dictionary definition:  lazy people with self esteem/value/respect issues, who have given up on themselves, fashion and style that live in oversized t-shirts, sweatpants, black leggings, or think pajama pants are appropriate "going out" attire. Most recently brought to our attention on Oprah, the schlumpadinka is, in most urban centers, an epidemic.

**Enter to win $50 to Target here

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43 comments:

  1. LOL!! I think I live in that town too. OMG we need to go shopping. Let's make a date. Seriously. And not just to Marshal's ok? I can't force myself to buy clothes anymore, just house stuff. Now I look like crap every single day. Nope, no makeup ever. I put on a little when I came to see you and that was the last time. I NEVER dry my hair anymore. It's always in a wet clip too. I really need to make more of an effort. When I actually do go into a clothes store, I feel like a real SAHM.

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  2. Quite depressing when I used to dress so cute when I worked. *sigh*

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  3. It is just part of being a SAHM..hopefully :) I remember those days, and yes I over came it... Whew! As your kids get older, you have more "me" time and will have the drive to get ready for the day. Especially when your kids get into school, you will get the urge back after seeing all the cute moms in their cute clothes all gussied up. But your role now is to be a mom to a little one who really doesn't care if you are wearing the same pants everyday, they just want the love.

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  4. Nope, I don't get dressed everyday! I purchased an insane amount of cute tank tops that I happened to catch on sale at Target, I too wear the same pants for the most part everyday. I purchased a few cute accessories and when I go out to the store or to pick up from school I try to throw on a cute necklace or earrings with my tank top and I never, ever forget my lipgloss. That's about as good as it gets. I have been eyeing some functional cute pieces for the fall that will make me feel chic while staying comfortable. We'll see how that goes!

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  5. I work three days a week, but on the other days, I make myself get ready by noon. That way I don't fee rushed to get ready at any point, and can figure out the best time to get ready (typically, while my son takes his morning nap or right after his nap when he's content to play in his exersaucer).
    I always feel happier the days I get ready. But I also accomplish a whole lot more on the days I don't spend time getting ready.

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  6. I def. feel you here! I honestly, only get "ready" for real anymore when I know that I'm going out somewhere for the day, or to run errands. Otherwise right now, I shower put on cute yoga pants or short and a t-shirt and call it good. I at least try to do my hair & make up in some shape or form mostly for my Husband, I don't want him coming home to a nasty wife, does that make sense?

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  7. Decorchick- it's so sad to see all the sad, lonely work clothes hanging in my closet. It's like they are missing their destiny, but I don't want to get rid of them in case I wear them in the future.

    Mimi- I got some cute tanks at Target too (embellished), have worn them out! They are in the "uniform" category.

    Jill- I totally agree about the time thing. It takes me so long to style my hair (or even just dry it). I'm thinking of cutting off a few inches.

    Andrea- I know exactly what you're saying about the hubby. I feel that way too.

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  8. I realized the other day that I only "fix" my hair on Sunday before church. I have the wet mommy hair pulled up, too. My hair takes forever just to dry.

    I've been trying to do better, but so far I haven't.

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  9. You are cute! Love this! I feel exactly the same way you do often! You expressed it very well.

    I do know that on the days that I do get "snazzied up" (aka. apply a little makeup, put on something cute, dry my hair), not only does my husband complement me, but I (bold letters!!!), feel better! And, I have found... it sure feels good to feel good about yourself.

    I do go through seasons... and, i think i am on an upswing season right now. Finding new styles that look good on me. Loosing some baby weight (even, if it is ONE little pound at a time) and just putting in more general effort!

    LOVE that you addressed this. YOu are not alone, girl!

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  10. I just posted on my blog a few days ago that I literally have no clothes. Why buy cute clothes when they are just going to get spit up on, goldfish cracker smeared or you aren't leaving the house so why bother wearing it? I have been getting up in the morning, showering and putting on makeup most days and wow, do I feel better about myself. I need to beef up my accessory wardrobe along with my regular wardrobe but give it a whirl girl! :) I think we all go through this season!

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  11. Amen, ladies. I think we are all in the same boat. I think about doing my hair... and then I think, "WHEN?" It feels like with a baby the only time to wash, blowdry, and straighten or curl my long hair would be if I got up an hour or two before the baby in the morning... and let's be honest---with a baby, sleep is WAY more important than fabulous hair. And clothes... I feel like I am "wasting" cute clothes if I am wearing them at home all day where no one sees me but Liam. I think it's true what was said though about things changing once our kids get older. I think once we are involved in more activities with the kiddos we will be more motivated to get dressed up.
    Awesome topic, Megan...

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  12. I do my hair and makeup every day, but not always in the morning. haha I do housework first usually, and I let my hair air dry, since it's naturally curly. So doing it doesn't take very long.
    My little Teddy has the same outfit as your baby. ;-)Too cute!

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  13. There are times and seasons, hon. Look how young your baby is. For me, the whole time my kids were 0-3 was a blur - my house was a mess (it's now extremely organised and tidy), I was a frump (I now take care with my outfits and wear makeup almost every day) and I was tired! When my eldest was 3y4m we had our second child, so the whole cycle repeated. Now they are both in full time school and life is very different. Hang in there and just do what you gotta do to get through the hard bit (when they're little) and enjoy your baby - everything will fall into place and have its own time later. I promise you will rediscover you!

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  14. It just wouldn't make sense to get snazzied up if your baby is going to drool all over you. Admittedly, I think your "uniform" is MUCH cuter than my yoga pants and white tshirt!

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  15. Love this topic! I always made an effort to at least take a shower, put on makeup and do my hair...from day 1! Then if I put on sweats or the standard "uniform" I at least felt somewhat put together. I've learned over the years that comfort doesn't have to replace cute/trendy. I'm not one to get super dressed up each day, but I am known to be "put together" as my girlfriends would say. If I look better, I feel better, and am more motivated.

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  16. I do the same thing if I know I won't be going anywhere other than to take my son to school. I get ready a bit more when I know I'm going to be out of the house most of the day. That includes putting my contacts in and putting lipstick on. My hair is still wet and pulled back! I'm slowly adding accessories to my wardrobe so I can look more put together. Welcome to mommyhood!

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  17. I don't have kids yet, but I feel a little in the same boat. We just moved and I am in the process of starting my own design company. Well since I don't actually have to "go to work" in the morning, I have been finding myself becoming lazy and staying in PJ's or workout clothes way too long...

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  18. Having been a stay at home mom for 4 years, I have been there. For me it goes in cycles. When I get busy, the first thing to go is the makeup, then the hairstyling. Clothes are just a matter of practicality. Wearing cute kitten heels to the park is just silly. Last week I did walk out of the house going to the store knowing that I had marker on my shirt. My friend and I laughed because I'd NEVER let the kids out of the house in dirty clothes!
    I try to think of it as a season in my life. There was a season for cuteness. Now there is a season for mom-ness. Not sure what the next season will hold...but let's hope it doesn't hold as many knits!

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  19. I can totally relate. I seriously cannot remember the last time I brought out my blow dryer. On a good day I'll wash my hair at night, so that it's dry in the morning, and I'll run a straightening iron over the front parts only. haha! Lazy lady hair fixing. Like I said, that's on a good day.

    My oldest son started kinder this year, and I spend about 30 min daily waiting in the pick up line after school. There is this mom who walks to pick up her daughter who always has this beautiful blown out and styled doo, no matter what she has on. Sorta makes me feel like crap as I'm sitting there hiding behind my tinted windows with hair twisted up in a clip and no makeup. I even put on makeup this morning because it made me notice what a slob I've become. haha.

    Bad thing is, my third son is due in 7 weeks, so I see this going on for at least a few more years. LOL.

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  20. I unfortunately look like I am about 15 years old when I don't wear makeup (actually 28) so that motivates me to do my hair and put on makeup each day. My "uniform" is jeans, a cute tank and cardigan and ballet flats....I still feel frumpy! I miss heels! Your post made me laugh though, so thanks :) I recommend taking a whole day to yourself and buying new clothes that are cute yet casual!

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  21. Sorry, that comment from J was from me...posted too soon :)

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  22. I am so glad I found your blog! My husband & I are moving to Houston from NC in a few weeks/month. We are very excited about the move but also nervous. Hope to find some good tips (places to shop, ideas,& inspiration) from your blog!

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  23. So glad you posted on this! I am super nervous to head down the same road when I have my little one this winter.. I can totally see myself slacking off in the hair/makeup/clothes department when there's no one to see me but a baby! Eek!

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  24. I'm a stay-at-home mom/blogger as well, with two little kids, and I make it a point every day to put on some cute clothes and make sure my hair looks somewhat clean cause it makes me feel better about me. I went to H&M and bought some cotton skirts, dresses and tops and I've been wearing them all summer. Why save the clothes when you can look cute now? Go on a play date in a cute cotton dress and I bet you will inspire the other moms to dress better. Wear some fun nail polish. Why not right(?)
    Love your blog btw

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  25. Im sitting here at my desk laughing...the people around me must think I'm crazy. But I love your definition. I'm not a SAHM so I don't know about the everyday wardrobe being drab, but it sure does sound comfy. If I was a SAHM I toow ould be in capris and tanks all day. I see nothing wrong with it unless you stop showering, and lose yourself completely.

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  26. There are no rules!!! If you feel good then your not a Schlumpadinka! I wash my hair every 4th day..which means down and strait day one, half up or braided bang day 2, and pony tail day 3. Yes it gets pulled but I felt frumpy putting it up everyday. As far as your uniform, it gets better the older the kids get. After I hit 12 months and I wasn't on the floor as much, I went back to jeans and other more stylish clothes!
    Always wore mascara and lip gloss. Just made me feel more like a girl and less like a mom. But sometimes I waited until 10 before my hubby would get home to put it on!!! ;)
    http://lisafergus.blogspot.com/

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  27. I am not a SAHM, but have been since losing my job in June. And lol, I wear a tank and one of two pairs of capris everyday! And flip flops, no makeup, no wedding ring and a ponytail!

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  28. well, we live in the country, so a lot of days i only see my husband. and he's now used to seeing me in my jammies cooking dinner. but beware! i made a hair appt out of desperation with my unfashionable self, and ended up with a layered do i couldn't style, even if i got the twenty minutes of mirror time needed. :)

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  29. I didn't read through the other posts, so I may be different than other SAHM's, but I do try to shower and "get ready" for my job.

    Even if my husband and kids were the only people I planned to see that day (which usually isn't the case since we run errands, go to the zoo, park, grocery, etc.) I shower and get ready because it makes ME feel good.

    I shower, dry my hair and put on a little bit of makeup to look polished. It helps me to wake up and feel ready to face the day. I'm not saying I put on fancy clothes, because in all likelihood, they will get messy, but at least I've got my hair and makeup going for me. :)

    To each his own, but I will say that after 4.5 years of being a SAHM, I've found that's what works best for me.

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  30. O. Usually I don't comment on blog posts, but I have to comment on this. I am a SAHM of 5. Yes, 5! Plus 2 stepkids during the summer. That's a whole lot of kids demanding my attention, get me? Both my husband and myself were married previously. I have seen the pictures of his ex-wife while he was married to her (but honestly she only got worse after he divorced her...) and OMG. Talk about a slob. He can't believe he was married to someone so slovenly. She only had two kids to take care of and she never got around to taking care of herself. I can say this so matter of factly (and sounding rude, I know) because during my first marraige I was the same way. He has seen pictures of me before as well and can't believe it was me. In the defense of "I'm busy" "I need to be comfortable" "The baby just spits on anything I put on"...I let myself go. I never wore makeup. I rarely got "dressed". While it is not the reason I divorced (domestic violence is) I am sure the way I looked didn't help matters. No husband wants to come home after working all day long to see his wife a mess. In their minds, you are home ALL.DAY.LONG. and you can't take 30 minutes to throw on some makeup and do something with your hair? They might not say it, ladies, but they think it.
    Now...that being said...I wear yoga type pants most days, with a cute top or dressier tank top (not the wife beater style, please!). I shower before I go to bed and let my hair dry as I sleep, and then take 15 minutes first thing in the morning to straighten it. My makeup takes me only about 5 minutes, unless I am going out, I take maybe 10. I know my husband appreciates the effort because he tells me so. And that just makes me want to doll myself up more often. I have days where my hair gets pulled up and I never get around to putting makeup on and such, but those days are not the norm, so hubby doesn't think it's an all the time thing. I understand the baby puke and drool and pulling at earrings and necklaces, believe me...but I also believe that kids should know and be trained from the beginning that Mommy needs her time. None of my kids have had a problem sitting in a little swing or chair in the bathroom while I take a few minutes to get ready for the day.
    Sorry if I sound rude...I don't mean to...I've just been around the block a few times. ;) Trust me...those few extra minutes you take to take care of yourself go a long way - in your marraige, in how your husband sees you, in how you see yourself, and in how your kids value you. Good luck!

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  31. I've spent the morning pouring over these comments and am finding a common theme: (1) I am not alone (2) it really only takes minimal effort to put a little pretty into your day (3) it will make YOU feel good and probably strengthen your relationship. I so appreciate you all taking the time to share your thoughts on this one. Seems to have resonated with so many.

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  32. I will be honest. In case the others lied. LOL Yes, you are on your way to Schlumpadinka. I will scoot over. I am already there. :) Difference is, you have one child. I have 4. So can you imagine what I look like? Seriously. It's beginning to take a toll on me. Because I am DISGUSTED every time I look in the mirror, I am making changes. For ME. Good luck. Fix it now while it's still easy for you. The first step is realizing & admitting you have a problem. LOL :)

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  33. I read this post earlier and then had to laugh at myself later. I took a shower today (yeah! not an everyday happening around here...) and then, put on a pair of pjs. AND THEN went to pick up my daughter from pre-school. Which meant that I dropped off both my girls un-showered and in last nights jammies...so I'm feeling pretty good about myself right now;).

    Thanks for you sweet comment about my little tea party! And I added the follower link to my blog if you're still interested.:)

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  34. I was on that road after my first child was born. (I think the first child is the hardest transition.) What helped me was 1) Finding a good social niche and filling most mornings and some evenings with social activities was not only satisfying personally, but motivated me to try a little harder in the personal appearance department. We have a playdate or other activity almost every day. 2) After my second child was born and I also had a 2 year old to keep up with, I realized I could no longer sleep until the last possible minute. I needed to be up early to keep a step ahead of my kids! So I started going to the gym at 5:30 AM, getting home around 6:45, and having time to do my hair and makeup before my kids got up at 7:15 or so. Then we all have breakfast with my husband before he leaves for work. I have been doing that for almost a year now, and my only regret is not discipling myself to do it sooner!

    All that to say... you are not alone-- it's hard and requires dedication! But it's totally possible! With the hard work and all the thought you have put into decorating your house, I am sure you have the drive to do it!

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  35. You are too funny! I do love my Lucy pants that I live in!
    http://www.lucy.com/Walk%20About%20Pant/224073,default,pd.html
    I had to share the link they are that great!
    I dropped my little off at preschool this morning with wet hair, I promised myself to blow dry it tomorrow. Your little guy is still really young, you will get your groove back soon, you'll see.

    Londen
    xo

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  36. Wow, Megan...you really hit on a topic! I am not a SAHM, but had a very generous maternity leave, so I got a taste of it. You do have a really big adjustment, going from attorney to home!! Thing is, James is still really young...your focus right now is adjusting to being a mom, loving him, trying to figure out what happened to your body. :)

    You are fortunate that you are GORGEOUS, so even with wet hair and no make-up, you're stunning.

    James will get older, you will have more time (and desire) to look after yourself, getting dressed will become fun again, and you will get out more.

    Until then, cut yourself a break. Try to have date nights with your hubby as much as possible...and on those nights, pull out all the stops...hair, makeup, heels, jewels! You'll both feel better and be glad you did.

    xo,c.

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  37. I'm so glad to read your blog!I 'm stay at home mum and lounge wear is my trade mark now!!! Make up just some mascara too and some rouge sometimes. But why not be chic when we are home, you know with those fancy tracksuits ? Because we forget it!!! And time is not always our friend! The olny thing i try not to forget is my nails. Once a week manicure!!!We do so many things with our hands at lest to see them well-groomed

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  38. I'm so glad to read your blog!I 'm stay at home mum and lounge wear is my trade mark now!!! Make up just some mascara too and some rouge sometimes. But why not be chic when we are home, you know with those fancy tracksuits ? Because we forget it!!! And time is not always our friend! The olny thing i try not to forget is my nails. Once a week manicure!!!We do so many things with our hands at lest to see them well-groomed

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  39. Oh my goodness...story of my life! My hubby just asked me to start wearing something other than what he likes to call "Amish skirts" (made of sweatpant material and hit below the knee- super comfy and perfect for summer mommy-at-home days).

    I took that as my cue to start dressing up for him again. I've found that figure flattering knit dresses and leggings with ballet flats is a nice stay-at-home attire. They're cute and stylish, and yet pretty practical, too!

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  40. Oh my goodness...story of my life! My hubby just asked me to start wearing something other than what he likes to call "Amish skirts" (made of sweatpant material and hit below the knee- super comfy and perfect for summer mommy-at-home days).

    I took that as my cue to start dressing up for him again. I've found that figure flattering knit dresses and leggings with ballet flats is a nice stay-at-home attire. They're cute and stylish, and yet pretty practical, too!

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  41. ok I live in that same town! Right now my definition of cute is a pair of leggings with an old t-shirt... its tight?! and the t-shirt is loose so... I don't know! I took a shower last night, put my hair in a hair tie and went to bed!

    I'm a shlump!

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  42. I have two kids, 2 and 4 years old.

    There's a rule in our house: Momma gets 30 minutes in the morning with the bathroom door locked.

    Seriously, I shower the night before, so all I need/want to do is use the bathroom *alone* (those of your with kids aged 1-4 know what I'm talking about), brush my teeth, put in my contacts, put on makeup, do my hair and get dressed. I make it all happen in 30 minutes first thing in the morning. It makes the biggest difference in my day and being totally prepared to just run out and do stuff with the kiddos.

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  43. I'm a SAHM and yes I do get ready 5 out of the 7 days! My friends think I'm crazy.

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